he'll do anything for a cute girl.
bring you up to speed:
i wasn't the happiest guy when i was eighteen. i had just moved away from home - to boulder, a girl i was really into had just broken my teenage heart, and i was living in the dorms - specifically, in the rejects dorm where they threw everyone they couldn't fit anywhere else. i was with my best friend, but he was getting super into "the college experience," and spending a lot of time hanging out with his girlfriend's friends, and i was just lonely.
enter the adorable emo girl from across the hall, b (no not some blog thing where i'm trying for anonymity, i call her b). when i was 18 i had a giant crush on her, mostly based on the said adorableness mixed with the fact that, for whatever reason, she took it upon herself to be nice to me and knock on my door to hang out and stay up all night sitting in the hall talking to me about horror films and shit.
years pass, crushes fade, people get better hair and more self-confidence.
i really like hanging out with b to this day, which doesn't really happen all that often, but often enough. she's still adorable and funny and fun and we still get along, and it's really nice to have a regular friend who has no other real connection to the bullshit in your life. i can just hang out and perform and talk and there's no consequence in any of it.
end backstory.
you ever have a drunken idea that seems like just a fun idea but then you really, really follow through?
went to the fainting goat for lunch with b and ate a mediocre chicken sandwish that was made better by a lot of vodka-sodas. she had the blarney sliders, which i really want now. they're corned beef with horsey havarti cheese and scallions, served on warm soft pretzel buns.
i want it so much i memorized that, word for word, from the menu.
it's like how i know all the lyrics to ever song zooey deschanel has ever even thought about singing.
fat guys always have tangents where they describe food.
while we were having lunch a really sad looking guy came into the bar and sat down and ordered - what else? the fucking blarney sliders (fuck that chicken sandwich). he then went to the jukebox, put in fifteen bucks and stood there choosing the perfect pearl jam playlist. after he sat down, as each song came on, he'd have a very strong emotional reaction, including:
laughter. big smiles. a wistful expression. and my favorite - burying his face in his hands while sighing and breathing hard and rocking back and forth, hitting his handcoveredhead on the bar.
i have that reaction whenever someone plays lady gaga, maybe it's the same thing.
we started talking basketball (b and i, not pearl jam sobber and i), and how i play it, and i went into how fun it would be to do something with more people - not join a league or anything too hipstery - but to do a pickup kickball game.
b: "let's do it!"
me, wishing i was eating off her plate (literally - not sexual): "yeah, it'd be fun."
b: "no, i mean tonight. at nine. i'm texting."
me, drinking vodka: "who?"
b: "everyone i know."
problems that came up: where? (a park in littleton) lights? (lights'll get us arrested) how do we see? (make everything glow in the dark) who? (all our friends!) i only have like five friends (i have tons!) you think people will come for kickball? (if there's 90 cans of beer there!)
this is the story of how tim spent his afternoon buying a kickball and bases and painting them with a coat of white, then florescent green, then glow-in-the-dark paint.
tim davids:
he'll do anything for a cute girl.
we roll out at nine, and low and behold - like twenty people show up. i get up, i kick - boom, double. next kicker - i make it to third. b is up next. bring me home, baby, bring me home.
i lead off. the pitcher doesn't know what that means and probably doesn't remember i'm on her team, so i take a big lead.
the pitch. b kicks the ball directly at me. the third baseman grabs it. i'm out.
getting stuck on third and not being able to score is horrible. i have kickblueballs (GROAN i wrote this whole thing to use that joke i'll be here all week).
kickblueballs. take that the two actual standup comedians i am somewhat acquainted with.
