featured twit.

i'm westword's featured twit.
i'll talk more about it later.

http://blogs.westword.com/latestword/2009/12/twitter_tuesday_tim_davids_our.php

but until then i'll leave you with this:

What if you did tank tonight? What do you think would happen?

Strangers wouldn't like me, friends wouldn't like me, the network wouldn't like me, the press wouldn't like me, women in general wouldn't like me, and Harriet wouldn't like me.

Is he in therapy?
Nah, he's got me.

the fleshlight.

i’m obsessed with this thing.
for those of you that don’t know what it is, a fleshlight is a metal tube that looks like a flAshlight, but where the light comes out of, instead, you’ll find a molded latex vagina, mouth, or anus.
these are all fleshlight options.

this is the greatest invention EVER. when kennedy talked about the potential of man, he meant the goddamn fleshlight.
ask not what your penis can do for you, but what you can do for your penis.

i always think it’d be really funny to buy a bunch of them and then slowly switch out all the real flashlights in the house, then wait for a power outage.

the problem is, if i buy even one fleshlight, even if it’s for fun, i know, at some point - i’m gonna fuck it.

and maybe i’ll be drunk or really desperate or something. but it doesn’t matter. even if it only happens once, someone could easily notice that i broke the thing’s fake latex hymen (oh, it has one).

and then they’d know:

Tim Davids fucked a Fleshlight.

and if you don't know, now you know.